No Change

Collecting us from Chelmsford station in the rain

Exploding our refrain to Edward in the car

‘They haven’t changed at all. They’re just the same’

He said, that’s just it, as if nothing changes

As if, after all the struggle, loss and love

Where is progress, what is worth the while?

But that’s not it at all, I said

 

That same invite to join the ping pong club

Behind the curtains in the needlework room

That Gig extended to me, aged 12

Shy, stammering, lacking her ease of merging

And delighted to be included in her gang.

(By genetic dint of wearing a bra – ping pong!)

Is the same invite to join us here

This day to a city bar, on the old Fleet river

And drink champagne, hug and cry,

After thirty seven separating years,

You have not changed at all, just the same

 

That same ease that Mina gifts me now,

As she did then, her theatre that lifts

My sometime serious life up to a stage

And makes me laugh. Same now as then,

Five children, no children, husband, no husband,

Dogs – these are the matters not the forms.

 

We were naked then, uncouth, not tutored

In how to camouflage a fault, present a profile

So are we now, there is no bush to hide.

We found our place, our cast, our friends,

Our jealousies, our fears, and dramas

And just the same, they come back now

Turning up my trousers, still small

But yes there is a change, an ease

That shame, or blame is gone, instead

A comfortable place, so here I am.

 

15th July 2012

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